Collected Works by Nick Wallace

Author:Nick Wallace [Wallace, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Book, Prose, Anthology, Short Story
ISBN: 1844352412
Publisher: Big Finish
Published: 2006-09-25T06:09:14+00:00

The Two-Level Effect

Eddie Robson

‘Jason, why don’t you do something useful with yourself?’ Bev asks me. From the tone of her voice you’d think using her desk to play shove ha’penny with some old coffee-cup lids was annoying in some way.

‘Such as?’ I ask.

‘Anything. I literally think that anything else would be more useful than what you’re currently doing.’

I explain calmly and patiently that, since she was the one who put me on the Collection’s payroll, I am sort of relying on her to find useful things for me to do. I word this really carefully because I don’t want to describe her as my boss.

‘Bernice insisted that I take you on,’ says Bev. ‘And I only did it as a favour to keep you out of trouble. I don’t need you.’

‘I’m doing you a favour because you’re short-staffed and no bugger’ll come and work for you any more.’

‘I am not short-staffed.’

‘No, of course not. And how much sleep did you get last night? Three hours?’

Bev pauses, shoots me a quick glance. ‘Three and a half.’

‘I apologise, obviously you’re coping just fine.’

Neither of us says anything for a few seconds, so I shrug and shove another lid across the desk. Bev flinches.

‘I’d planned on having you handle the file for complaints about the Quire, but that seems to have dropped off since I had my little chat. Which means you can just go back to your rooms. When Bernice gets back, I won’t tell her you didn’t actually do anything.’

‘No,’ I say decisively, although I don’t actually meet her gaze. ‘I do want to help out –’

Bev laughs shortly. ‘Because Bernice’ll be angry if you don’t?’

I decide to rise above this. “And you need help. Tell me what your biggest problem is.’ Before she has a chance to speak, I add. ‘Apart from me. What needs doing that you don’t have time to do?’

I walk out of Bev’s office carrying a high-capacity datachip that contains every mention of the Braxiatel Collection in all major media for the past four months. I’ve got to read this stuff and prepare a summary of how we’re viewed by outsiders and what aspects of our public image need to be tackled most urgently. This is not only very useful, it also involves watching lots of telly. Brilliant.

I don’t have my own office, even though I did ask for one. My first thought is that I can easily do this in my rooms. But a great idea occurs to me. A really great idea, one to add to the list of my best ideas ever.

On my way to enact this idea, I balance out my karma – best ideas don’t come from nowhere – by doing a good deed. Peter stops me, asks me about a present for his mother. After some deliberation, I direct him towards Hass’s quarters. Women love flowers. Even Benny.

Having turned on the charm for a few minutes at the Estates department, I filch the key code for Braxiatel’s office. They sealed it when he left, and nobody has been in there since.

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